Could this be the definitive Canadian rap song?

You decide:

Why does IMDb recommend “Freeway” for everything?

Take a look at some of these screenshots, taken from IMDb pages of a couple different movies. Notice what is always recommended:

WTF?

Movie Review: Kick-Ass (2010)

Kick-Ass is more grim of a movie than I thought it would be, and not as much of a laugh-riot satire that I expected. It has the teenage situations, potty mouth, and pop-culture references of something like Superbad, but gradually takes a nose-dive into the morose, blood-lusting atmosphere of The Punisher.

Two stories collide in the movie. One is that of the title character, Kick-Ass, who doesn’t like the wrong that’s going on in the world and is tired of being passive, and being a comic-book geek, naturally his logical solution is to become a super hero himself. I liked this half of the story. It was unique, and very funny. The other half of the story, with heroes Big Daddy and Hit-Girl, is the typical self-righteous hero getting revenge on a mob boss plot. Can you really call them super heroes at that point? How about just murderers in capes? They’re not fighting any crime per se, just doing everything possible to make this mob boss’ life miserable. Killing everyone on his payroll. Burning down warehouses. Crushing a defenseless henchman in junk compacter. You know, the average super hero stuff. If they’re going through all this trouble, why not just skip all the theatrics and sneak into the mob boss’ house and slit his throat while he’s sitting on the john? Sometimes you gotta ask yourself: what would Batman do? Batman would not be happy with these guys.

And that really brings us to one undeniable fact: any movie released after 2008 that is even remotely related to super heroes will no doubt be compared to the quality of Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight. When one comic book adaptation does everything so well, naturally you’re going notice glaring flaws in other comic book adaptations. One huge flaw in the movie, to me personally, were the villains. Mob bosses? Really? The Super hero chain of challenge usually goes from petty thieves, to professional thieves (the mob), to super villains. I can understand that. It’s practically sacred scripture. But seriously, the main villain played by Mark Strong is not compelling whatsoever. The role is so undemanding it could have been played by a cardboard cut-out. Hell, that goddamn, greasy Russian in The Dark Knight had more personality than any villains in Kick-Ass! The entire rogues gallery in this movie is about one step away from being the type that trips over wacky traps set up by Macaulay Culkin. When the most intriguing bad guy is played by McLovin, you know you have a problem.

But relax, the movie is still pretty good. Despite all of its flaws, it works. And the characters are a hell of a lot more likable than they have the right to be. The acting is good too, particularly Aaron Johnson as Kick-Ass and Chloe Moretz as Hit-Girl. Consider Kick-Ass the revelations of these two actors, who will surely have great careers ahead of them in hopefully better movies. Nicolas Cage and his wacky Adam West impression are a welcome addition to the movie as well, and rest assured: Cage was able to work in some hilarious, hammy screaming scenes. “SWITCH TO KRYPTONIIITTTTTEEEEE!!!!”

I liked Kick-Ass. But I didn’t love it. The plot is a little stupid but it at least tries to give new twists on old ideas, but the main reason to see the movie is the action. I suppose I liked the icing better than the cake itself. The action scenes rock, especially when you see Hit-Girl kicking some serious ass. It’s absurd, hilarious, and just awesome. I predict that when the movie hits home video there will be a lot of chapter skipping just to the action scenes.

Kick-Ass finds itself somewhere in the middle of the pack when it comes to super hero movies/comic book adaptations. There are better ones out there, but there are also much much worse ones, and the fact that Kick-Ass is so un-apologetically off-the-wall with its violence and bad language is something to celebrate. It’s a wild ride. It’s funny, action packed, and features an 11-year-old girl mercilessly slaughtering bad guys. Fun for the whole family!

Harrison Ford: Empire Strikes Back Q&A!

News has been flying around the internets like crazy today after it was announced that Harrison Ford will be taking part in a Q&A session after a special screening of The Empire Strikes Back in May to commemorate its 30th anniversary.  Let’s hope it goes well.

More details here:

https://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=376fe70618ec7210VgnVCM1000001e0215acRCRD&vgnextchannel=e128e70618ec7210VgnVCM1000001e0215acRCRD

Surprise, surprise, it’s already sold out. Hope someone brings a camera phone!

My Blog Stats…

I was checking my blog stats today, as I usually do (about 40 times a day) and I noticed that they have taken a weird pattern. Maybe I’m crazy but perhaps you could judge for yourself:

They sort of look like a pair of oddly shaped, sagging breasts don’t they?*

*if you enjoy the quality content of this blog and wish to see more, please send me money.

Mass Tweet Movie Review: The Dark Knight (2008)

Wow, it’s hard to believe that The Dark Knight was released almost 2 years ago! Time really flies. Anyway, the movie has been making its rounds on HBO lately and reminding a lot of people of how awesome the movie still is, and since we all know that most regular Twitter Users will let the entire world know when they wipe their nose, naturally a lot of people had things to say about this very popular movie.

So I have collected some screen shots of random Tweets that had anything to do with The Dark Knight– some insightful, some funny, some incoherent. Enjoy!

This is a movie that causes excitement.

Y SO SRYS LOL OMFG ROFL!

That part is awesome.

The Dark Knight: It goes great with lobster.

This has neither been confirmed nor denied.

No work is more important than watching The Dark Knight. Fact.

General consensus is that Ledger did an amazing job as The Joker.

General consensus is that Batman’s voice is silly.

Batman as the spokesman for “Fisherman’s Friend” is marketing Heaven.

The consensus on Batman’s voice is that it’s silly. There are exceptions, however.

The Dark Knight: More important than sleep and you know it!

Still better than Katie Holmes.

The Dark Knight: A thought-provoking film if there ever was one.

FUN FACT: Batman, Joker, and the mayor all use the same eye makeup remover brand!

Make it happen, YouTube!

I’m not entirely sure what this means.

Women have been attracted to men in ridiculous makeup since the 70’s, so no. Yeah, suck it, Gene Simmons!

So true.

Also true.

This Tweet needs some rephrasing.

Harvey Dent: He could use a band-aid or two.

“Dick move, Alfred!”

I’ll see you in Hell, Danny Boyle!

The Dark Knight: Still better than the highest grossing film of all time.

One Hell of a recommendation.

We’re getting pretty profound at 140 characters or less…

Okay, that’s it.These screens were all taken last night. And it’s just further proof of how awesome and universally loved this movie is.

If you own The Dark Knight on DVD or Blu-Ray, make sure to watch it at least once a week to promote a happy and healthy lifestyle.  Take care, folks.

Best NES Games

Hi. Here is my list of my personal favourite games for the original Nintendo Entertainment System. Enjoy!

1. Super Mario Bros. Trilogy

So yes, #1 is a tie. It’s an amazing trilogy of games. If pressed I’m sure I would vote the third as the absolute best, but they all have many things I love about them, yes, even the “controversial” Super Mario Bros. 2. It’s great fun. Mario is the most recognizable video game character of all time, the gameplay is amazing and still holds up well today. Highly recommended.

2. Super C

Yeah, “Super C” as in “Super Contra.” A hell of a game. Tons of gun-play, dodging bullets, evil aliens, crazy machines, and cool enemies to battle. This is the kind of game the Turbo Controller was made for. That is, if you’re a pussy. The best way to play this game is to end up with bloody thumbs and blistered palms. End of story.

3.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Arcade Game

Ninja Turles and Nintendo. These things were made for each other. Awesome game play, vastly superior to the first TMNT NES game (if you haven’t seen that Angry Video Game Nerd review of it, drop everything and watch it now!), and it’s everything a child from the late 80’s/early 90’s could ever hope for. This game made my childhood. I still love playing it every now and then, it gives you a warm gooey nostalgic feeling.

4. Dr. Mario

Hold on Tetris, Imma let you finish, but DR. MARIO is the most addicting game of all time. OF ALL TIME! Yes, Dr. Fucking Mario is an awesome and addicting game, and while I love Tetris and all, between the two I feel the game is much better.  I would play this game so much that every time I’d close my eyes I would see red, blue, and yellow germs and pill capsules floating around. It’s a very simple game but hours of fun.

5. Ninja Gaiden

This game is hard as hell. It’s frustrating, enraging, and you come to realize that it sucks being a Ninja because everything wants to kill you. But, hey- unlimited continues! Sweet! I’ll admit I never beat it, but that’s just something I’ve come to accept and it doesn’t really decrease my enjoyment of the game. It’s one of the few earlier games that actually had an interesting storyline to it and it’s full of interesting environments and enemies. It’s a challenging game game but it’s always a good idea to dust this puppy off and think, MAYBE THIS TIME I’LL BEAT IT.

6. 1942

This is just a good old fashioned arcade-style button-masher. The idea is very basic: You’re a World War II fighter plane. Shoot everything that moves. Go! You know you’re playing the game right if you develop arthritis before you hit age 20.

7. Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse

Skeletons, Medusa Heads, and Swamp Creatures- oh my! Just like Ninja Gaiden, this game is challenging as all-hell, but it’s such fun that you desperately keep coming back for more. This is my favourite of the Castlevania NES games. I like it just a little better than the first, and Simon’s Quest is infamously horrible. This game feels like a classic mash-up of all your favourite monsters. Playing this is more worth your time than seeing the movie Van Helsing.

8. Batman: The Video Game

You know, up until the release of Batman: Arkham Asylum, I’d say this was actually the best Batman video game ever released. I never understood why they could never make a decent game based on the character, but at the time this was the best thing we got. There’s punching, unique weapons, Ninja Gaiden-style wall jumping, and the music kicks some serious ass, too. You’ll find out pretty quickly that it has barely any resemblance to anything that happens in the 1989 Batman film by Tim Burton, but that doesn’t matter. It’s a damn good game.

9. The Little Mermaid

I know what you’re thinking- WTF? Little Mermaid? Are you kidding? Well, what can I say? I guess this is just a guilty pleasure for me. The game play was pretty unique for the time, the graphics are actually very, very good- and as far as movie adaptions go, this is very very faithful to the source material, and still one of the best Disney Film based games ever. Another plus is that it’s so insanely easy that you can beat it in about 20 minutes. Good times! Don’t be afraid to check it out. I won’t make fun of you.

10. Blades of Steel

Sports games today have such advanced graphics that they can completely emulate the facial and physical features of real players, but those get outdated so quickly and you constantly have to keep buying the most recent versions, which I think is stupid and a waste of money. Blades of Steel, however, is an 8-bit classic that has never gone out of style. The sounds are great for the time, and the graphics are decent enough. It’s a fun sports game and in my personal opinion, the best sports game for the NES.

So, that’s it. That’s my list.

Have a nice day. I’m off to find some mushrooms.